Incarnation

I came across quite a quandry in Christology class today. We were discussing some John Calvin and his take on the incarnation. Calvin spent a couple of sections refuting a guy named Osiander who,

• "asserts that man was created in God's image because he was fashined according to the pattern of the Messian to come, that man might conform to him wome the Father had already determined to clothe with flesh. From this, Osiander infers that if Adam had never fallen from his original and upright condition, Christ would still have become man."

So, the questions I pose to you who are reading are these: Would Christ have still become human if Adam had never fallen? If not, does incarnation become contingent on the fall? Is saving humankind from fallenness all that is accomplished in the incarnation?

Any thoughts would be helpful as I try to work through this.

Smells

As I sat in downtown Decatur today, so many different smells assaulted, no approached my olfactory senses. Smells of food, smells of people, smells of industry, smells of animals, smells of who knows what. What is it about smells that take us back to distinct moments in time.

• As I was sitting at Java Monkey, I smelled something, a perfume or someone's shampoo, or something that took me back to 305 Centennial Hall, 1995. It just smelled like our room, or the hallway, or something. Ryan, Renee, Colleen, and all the rest of the Towne Hall crowd. 305 Centennial Hall.
• As I walked to the Decatur square, I smelled a perfume that made my mind conjure up an ex-girlfriend...one that was intoxicating, and who made me think, and who made my head spin. I was transported to 2122 Tugaloo Ave...sitting on the porch being told, "I just can't be anybody's girlfriend right now."...my head spinning with those words while being intoxicated by the perfume or the pheremones, I don't know which. 2122 Tugaloo Ave.
• At truck stops, the smell of diesel takes me back to the cook truck, getting my snack after a performance with The Cavaliers. Standing there in khaki shorts, with my shirt off, wearing my gears, eating a PBJ or banana pudding or leftover lasagna and enjoying the caucaphony of sounds around me...horns playing melodies, drums playing "licks," flag poles and rifles striking the ground, tour buses pulling out of the parking lot. Ah, the sweet smell of diesel. The parking lot after a show.
• The musty smell in Tom and Nicole's upstairs that takes me back to Grandpa and Grandma's house...the mustiness of lives lived that house...laughter, tears, secrets, hugs, rants, raves, meals shared...coating the house with layers of life...mustiness.

Anyway, I'm amazed at how smells can take you to a different time and place.

Lenten Discipline

• I just spent a wonderfully beautiful afternoon in downtown Decatur. The sun is shining, people are outdoors enjoying the weather, and I had a great time. I got some reading done for school and did some people watching as well. Thank God for sunny Saturdays.
• I don't think I've blogged about my lenten discipline for this year. I decided to give up driving places by myself unless: 1. I was going out of town, or 2. I was on my way to pick someone else up. It's been an interesting lenten season. This has meant walking or riding my bike to school, or getting the occasional ride with a roommate. It has curtailed my random trips to the grocery store, Target, or any other random place I think I need to go at any given moment. For the most part, it's been a good discipline, and one which gave me some time to reflect on the sacrifices we make in relation to the sacrifice of Christ. At times, it's meant that I've been a burden to others, or that I simply didn't go do things I wanted to. It's also meant some creative meals when I realized I was out of groceries and none of my roommates was planning a trip to the grocery store anytime soon. Hopefully it's made me more mindful of those who don't really have a choice in the matter of whether to drive because they don't own a vehicle or have access to one...those who rely on public transportation to get them around a big city like Atlanta. I should probably be more mindful of those folks when I say things like, "I need a new car." Anyway, in less than 24 hours, I'll be back in the Buick. I'm sure the people who have carted me around all lent will be happy.
• I'm not sure if I've commented yet on my friend Julian Jackman and his involvement with an armed robbery. If so, oh well, I feel like commenting again. I thought of him today as I had my legs extended and resting on a chair on front of me as I sat at Java Monkey. I thought, "Man, if someone fell on my legs right now, they'd snap in two." Then, I thought about the time I broke my friend Cory's leg on the playground at Ridgeway Elementary school in Columbia, MO. He was leaning on a fence, waiting for his turn at four square. I jumped to hit a ball and landed squarely on his leg. He arrived at school the next day with a cast and using crutches. It ends up that I had broken his leg...Utterly ridiculous considering at the time he probably weighed twice as much as I did, and I was total pipsqueak. Thankfully, he didn't hate me (for too long), and our friendship remained intact. As we passed through middle school and high school, Cory became Julian (using his first name instead of his middle name), and we grew apart. He played football, while I hung out with the band and choir kids. There was still a fondness between us, but we definitely didn't hang out on the weekends. Anyway, I hadn't thought about Julian (Cory) for quite awhile until a friend sent me a link to a news story from the Columbia Tribune. It ends up that Julian has been tied to an armed robbery in which the victim ended up dying after being beaten repeatedly. It makes me sad to think that my friend Cory...whose leg I broke in elementary school...who survived an awful car accident in high school...who always seemed so jovial and caring would be involved with something like that. I mean, did he plan the robbery? Did things get out of hand? Was he really there at all? What happened in the ten years since we graduated in our green robes and yellow tassles that would lead Julian to commit a crime of that magnitude? Why is he in jail and I'm about to graduate from seminary? It makes me sad. One day Cory is telling me that he's mad at my Mom because she makes him do his math right (my Mom volunteered as a teacher's aid in elementary school) and the next day Julian is involved in the death of another human being. Anyway, for those of you think to pray for such things, please pray for my friend Julian, and his family, and the family of the victim, and, well, for all of the other Julians out there.

Hosanna to Hallelujah

• That's right folks...It's Holy Week! This past Sunday I attended church here in Atlanta, and while they gave everyone a palm branch (for Palm Sunday), we never go to wave them! I mean, what is that? The choir processed in with the palm branches hidden lamely beneath their hymnals. I made a couple of attempts to wave mine, but nobody around me seemed to catch on. On the interstate on the way home, we were stuck in traffic, so Lindsey Wade and I rolled down our windows and waved our palms for all our fellow traffic sufferers to see. Not exactly a triumphal entry, but still.
• The title of this post occured to me yesterday as I was sitting in Christology class. We were talking about Martin Luther's Heidelberg Disputation. At one point, he writes: "Now it is not sufficient for anyone, and it does him no good to recognize God in his glory and majesty, unless he recognizes him in the humility and shame of the cross." In the context of Holy Week, I thought this was interesting material to consider. I mean, isn't that what a majority of Christians in our society do? We show up for church on Palm Sunday, wave our palms (sometimes), cry out Hosanna, Hosanna, and celebrate that Christ has arrived, and then go home for a week, buy a nice new Easter outfit, and then show up on Easter Sunday to cry Hallelujah, Jesus Christ is Risen Today. Somehow, we go from glory to glory, and miss the humility and shame of the cross along the way. Yes, I know that some folks attend Good Friday services or Maundy Thursday services, but definitely not as many as are in church on the bookend Sundays of Holy Week. Why is it that we want to skip over Friday and Saturday? Does it remind us too much of our own brokenness? Are we afraid of what it means for God to die on a cross? Thankfully, Luther, and theologians to follow, remind us that the glory and majesty of God only make sense in light of the humility and shame of the cross. So, my challenge to you and to me is to spend some more time living in between the Hosannas and the Hallelujahs.
• While I'm thinking about Luther, I thought I'd share another great quote, "Therefore sinners are attractive because they are loved; they are not loved because they are attractive." Yes, that's right, God does not love you because of all the good stuff you do, God does not love you because you go to church every Sunday, God does not love you because you have a pretty face, God does not love you because you give money to charity, God does not even love you because you've brought a thousand people to faith in Jesus Christ. God loves you in spite of all these things. God chooses to love us out of God's great love, and therefore, we are made attractive. We don't get any of the credit...none of it. Isn't that a liberating thought? God loves me, and has freed me from the bondage of sin, so now I'm free to live in relationship and according to God's will.
• Finally, thanks to all of you who have read my previous posts about the struggle that goes into deciding where I will serve the church in the coming years, and have posted encouraging words/thoughts. I appreciate that.

It's been awhile...so some people say

• Alas, I have failed in my effort to blog at least once a week this semester. Please accept my deepest apologies. Life has been way busy, and I've been too busy dealing with my thoughts to type them out...if that makes sense.
• Since my last post, I have traveled to Nashville, TN to visit Harpeth Presbyterian Church and to Arlington Heights, IL to visit First Presbyterian Church there. Both visits were good...nice people, cool churches. This whole call process thing is so difficult. Just this week, I had to call a church and tell them that I wouldn't be accepting the call they extended me. I mean, I go to these places and meet wonderful people, and in the end, I can only choose to serve one church. In some ways I feel like Pippin in the musical of the same name, when he tries to find himself by experiencing everything. There's a great line near the end of the musical that goes, "...and if I'm never tied to anything, I'll never be free." I know that at some point, I need to make a commitment to a church and really plunge into its community and become a minister for her people. I suppose I'm struggling a bit with the notion of, "what if there's something better just around the corner?" Anyway, for those who care, I'll probably be making the decision in a few days, and I'll be sure to blog as soon as I do.
• On a related note, thanks to my good friend Lindsey Wade for helping me sort through some of my thoughts with regard to the church I'm leaning toward. Boy, that's an awkward sentence. Oh well, I'm feeling a bit awkward lately. It just feels so hard to sit down and talk about the call process with my fellow students who are looking for similar positions. I feel like I've been pegged as some sort of, "chosen one" by my peers. I mean, I know they're just kidding, but I can sense a seriousness behind the jesting. Am I supppsed to quit being Alan Bancroft? Am I supposed to be sorry for being gregarious? Am I supposed to apologize for being a male in a church that, in some places, still values a male minister over a female minister? It's never my intention to brag about the fact that churches are calling me, but when people ask, I also don't want to lie. Anyway, thanks to Lindsey for not making me feel bad about having options.
• MARCH MADNESS BABY!!! That's right, it's that time of year again. Even though my bracket usually falls apart in the first round, I love these days of non-stop college basketball. If I didn't have a retreat to lead this Saturday, I would probably sit in front of the TV all day and watch basketball. Good luck to all of you in your office, church, home, and school pools.
• I think I'm really ready for the sweet, hazy days of summer. You know, those days when it's light until after 9:00...when you can sit out on your front porch and play the guitar after work...when you have hours of daylight to enjoy the world and the people in the world...when you can sit out on decks and porches at bars, drinking and telling funny stories...when there's always a baseball game on TV...when kids are out of school...when it's warm and sunny and wonderful. Yeah, I'm ready for summer.

Napoleon Dynamite

Hey folks...If you like Napoleon Dynamite, you should check out this link of him doing the top ten list for Dave Letterman. Enjoy.
http://collegehumor.com/?movie_id=106148

Justice and Mercy

• I've decided that I need to carry around a little pad of paper to write down all of the, "clever," thoughts I have throughout the day. Usually by the time I sit down to blog, I've forgotten everything.
• Thanks to those who have posted comments with regard to my thoughts on leadership. It's my hope that I'll spend my life working on my leadership style, but it's kind of cool doing a more intensive look as I prepare to go out into the church.
• So, the love of God. Hmm...This week the tension between the mercy of God and the judgment/justice of God has popped up in almost every class. It seems to me that we, as Presbyterian seminarians, seem fairly comfortable proclaiming the mercy of God to one another and to the masses, but recoil in fear at the prospect of proclaiming anything as God's justice and/or mercy. We're told that mercy and justice are both aspects of God's love for creation, and that we must hold them both in tension, but yet we're afraid of justice. It might be interesting to chat about whether there's a difference between judgment and justice. In any case, I wonder if we are adequately proclaiming the love of God if we leave out God's desire for justice in the world. What does the justice of God look like? Do we really know what the mercy of God looks like?
• Yeah, I haven't done too well in my endeavor to greet people with, "Peace be with you," instead of, "How ya doin'?"
• I have spoke with the tongue of angels...I have held the hand of the devil...It was warm in the night...I was cold as a stone...But I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
• In chapel this morning I was struck by a couple of verses in Jeremiah: They all deceive their neighbors, and no one speaks the truth; they have taught their tongues to speak lies; they commit iniquity and are too weary to repent. Oppression upon oppression, deceit upon deceit! They refuse to know me, says the Lord. (Jeremiah 9:5-6) What powerful words. That they (we) are so caught up in lying and deceiving, oppressing a being deceitful, that we are too weary even to repent. I wonder if, at the end of the day, I've spent so much time lying to God, myself, and my neighbor that I'm too weary to do anything other than drift into the sweet escape of sleep. It makes me sad to think that this is so. Sometimes I don't think it's so, but sometimes it is. Does our nation, as we bring "freedom" to the world spend it's days lying, deceiving, oppressing, being deceitful, and committing iniquity with such fervor that as the sun sets on our manifest destiny the nation is too weary to repent...to turn around...to seek wholeness in the arms of the one from whom all gifts come?
• My final thoughts for today come as a rampage on Vanderbilt divinity school. This week, two of my roommates received rejection letters from that place. It makes me wan to drive over there after my interview this weekend and burn it to the ground. Not really burn it to the ground, but at least spit on the grounds or something. My heart is tender for my revivalist preacher roommate Mark. He has stepped out in boldness into a whole new world, and is in danger of being left in the lurch. That sucks.
• Coming soon: A poem entitled Intoxication.

Chapel today...The power of Grace

• I had the opportunity to participate in an amazing chapel service this morning. CTS student James Joyner was preaching on the Last Supper scene as it's found in Mark. He was talking about how the church and christians have become bedmates with the evil that they are supposed to be fighting against. He talked about how The Satan doesn't even have to fight anymore, because we do his work for him. When he started talking about those who have given their lives in order to fight evil, he got emotional. It was amazing how supportive the community was...how present the spirit was in that moment. His next words testified to the resurrection of Christ as a testament to the grace of God. The grace of God truly is an amazing thing...so amazing that it conquers even death. As he closed, he offered his body and blood to the service of Christ's mission in the world. Powerful stuff!!! When Dr. Stroup invited us to the table, his line about, "Don't come because you deserve it, but because of the grace of God," I shed a few tears. Why is it that grace doesn't bring about that kind of response on a more regular basis? Anyway, it was an emotional service.
• My friend Ani raised a great question as we walked out? Why do we greet each other with, "Peace of Christ," as we leave chapel, but as soon as we get 500 yards away, we slip back into, "How ya doin?" I think I'm going to make an effort to greet more people with Peace of Christ for a few days. It's such a better way of greeting someone.

Seminary is a funny place

• Seminary really is a funny place. I sat through a three hour class the other night where I witnessed a great deal of skepticism and negativity. I mean, one of my classmates got worked up because our seminary is planning to have a fire drill. I think I heard him say, "fear mongering." That, or the seminary wants to make sure people can get out of one of our antiquated buildings adequately in case of a fire. Just because an establishment suggests something doesn't necessarily mean that it's bad. It doesn't necessarily mean it's good, but still. I just walked out feeling like people are so negative sometimes. I mean, I tend to run on the cynical side from time to time, but I try to follow up my negativity with some thought on how to make things better. I found it interesting that we just skipped past our professor telling a story that culminated with the question, "How do I make the party better?" Looking back, I wonder if he told that story as a corrective to the negativity in the room. Anyway, seminary is a funny place.
• We also talked about the importance of being comfortable in one's own skin...Being comfortable with yourself. We all agreed that we are drawn to following people who seem to have that quality. I think that might be what I was trying to get at in earlier discussions when I suggested that some people are natural leaders, and that others, no matter how much training they receive, will never be comfortable as leaders. I wonder if the more elemental question has to do with being comfortable as...well, as whoever you happen to be. As our conversation progressed, I sensed a huge uneasiness with claiming personal leadership styles. Does that have to do with low self-esteem, an ability to articulate exactly, being afraid of others in the room, or simply never having thought of it? In any case, I've spent some time this week thinking about being comfortable as a 28-year-old, white, 6' 4", extroverted, male, from Missouri.
• Last weekend I visited a church in Florida. I had a great time meeting the people there. This call process is going to be so difficult. Once I visit someplace, and actually meet the people, the whole thing takes on a different, "face," if you will. Prayers for discernment would be greatly welcomed.
• For those of you West Wing fans out there, was the episode on Wednesday, February 23rd not absolutely amazing? I found myself holding my breath at certain points during the show. I continue to be amazed at how a TV show can have such a profound impact on my brain. I should recommend that episode to Bill Harkins, my pastoral care professor. People were working through a lot of "stuff," in that episode.
• What's so great about the barrier reef anyway? :)

Venture Cinema...The $1.99 dollar theatre. 

Lindsey & Laurie at Venture Cinema on Valentine's Day 

Valentine's Day plus

• Have you ever had one of those days when you see an ex and it just throws off your whole day? Well, that happened to me today. Without going into the details, I saw an ex, and it sent my emotions into a bit of a tailspin. What is it about former relationships that wreak such havoc on us? I mean, in our brains, we know that some people aren't right for us, yet we still yearn to recapture a closeness with them. Anyway, my day was a bit emotionally topsy turvy.
• I'm gonna go ahead and confess that I had a big drink at Los Bravos in Decatur, GA, and, "my brain," in the words of Winnie the Pooh, "feels fluffy."
• For Valentine's Day, I went to dinner with Weicher, Laurie, Lindsey, Jonathan, and Shannon at a chain restaurant (Chili's) and then went to see Ray at the dollar theatre. Actually, it now costs $1.99. I mean, what's up with that? Why not just charge $2.00? Is it that we feel like we're spending less if we don't actually see the $2? They must keep a lot of pennies on hand. Anyway, it was a good time. I took a couple of pictures that I might post later. I let the girl at the concession stand convince me to buy the large soda for fifty cents more. I didn't even remember buying it until half way through the movie. I did, however, munch down on some Hot Tamales. I love those things...especially at movies. I was really thankful to that crowd of folks for including me in the festivities. I feel like everyone in that group has been so gracious to me. They could have easily decided to turn their backs on me, but have, instead, included me on more occasions than I probably deserve.
• This call process thing is starting to wear on me. I just found out this evening that a church I interviewed with wants me to come visit, but has called some near and dear friends and told them they're exploring other options. It seems that some feelings are going to be hurt before this is all over.
• E'erbody in the Club Gettin' Tipsy! I love this song. I think my most vivid memories of it are from basketball at Shandon and one particular night at...well, at that dance club in Columbia, SC. I hate it when I forget stuff like that. Crazy stupid song, but way fun.
• We had some interesting discussions again tonight in Final Things. I think I'll save my reflections on that when I'm feeling a bit more awake. The getting up early each day this week is catching up with me. Until then, know that I'm still struggling a good bit with what it means to be a Christian leader. I've decided I'm open to the idea that all people are leaders, but still not sure that works out. Convince me.

By the Power of Grayskull

• If anybody is looking for some great He-Man and She-Ra stuff, including desktop themes, wallpapers, sound clips, and videos, check out www.CastleGrayskull.org. It's a great site for all of us former He-Man fans. I love staring my computer and hearing He-Man say, "By the Power of Grayskull...I Have the Power!!!"
• I'm feeling a bit troubled about some stuff related to one of my classes this semester. Last night, we were asked to share faith statements that reflected our understanding of Christian leadership. There were a variety of understandings and thoughts, and I love that. Unfortunately, my roommate Davis got attacked, which sucked. I felt like he was naming a tendency that all of us share to some degree of turning our deepfelt convictions and causes into God. He tried to be vulnerable, and people attacked it. Not cool dude...not cool. I was also bothered by comments made in response to class on an e-mail forum. People voiced being highly uncomfortable with sharing their statements of faith. As I've thought about that through the day, it bothers me more and more. I mean, what is it that we're doing as ministers of word and sacrament? I mean, isn't that what we do when we step into the pulpit to preach or pray? How are we supposed to become a community of faith if we're afraid to share our faith? Yes, there will be times when we don't feel safe, but in the end, are we called to safety? Won't the faith community be strengthened by people who are willing to share their faith honestly and openly? It seems that we need to create spaces where faith can be expressed, heard, and maybe even challenged. Isn't one of our tasks in ministry to help people articulate the faith of I and the faith of we and then share that faith with others? Don't we need to feel comfortable sharing our faith with everyone we meet in terms that show some sort of passion and maybe even vulnerability? All in all, it troubles me that so many future ministers conceive of faith as such a private thing. What is it about the culture/society we live in that we're afraid to boldly claim our faith, even at the risk of being rejected, judged, or even cast out?
• Finally, as I was working out today, I was plugged into the mp3 player (not an ipod because I'm a poor seminarian), and a fellow student came in and turned on the Maury Povich show. Every guest was a woman who was giving a man a paternity test for one of her children. About half of them ended up being the father. There was one girl who had been on the show 9 times for a previous child and was back for a new child. Whereas I'm totally against censorship, I wonder if the producers of that show might be more consicentious about what they "glorify," and how they reward people for making bad choices. It makes me sad that there are so many women out there who really have no idea who fathered their child. What has our society said to them that allows them devalue themselves in that way?

Robert Penn Warren is the man!!

• Who had I, Amantha Starr, been before that moment? I had been defined by the world around me...But now all had fled away from me, in the deserts of distance, and I was, therefore, nothing.

• The previous words come from Robert Penn Warren's Band of Angels. They are spoken by a young woman who has been removed from all she knows...all that has meaning for her...all that has defined her. These words struck me as rather profound for some reason. It made me wonder whether I am likely to define Alan Bancroft by talking about the world around me. I'd like to think that I would be able to say something about myself without talking about my schooling, my hometown, my family, or whatever it is I'm involved with at the time, but that might be kind of tough. I mean, isn't who we are tied to the world around us, as well as the people around us? Anyway, I continue to be impressed by Warren's ability to capture humanity in ways that just make sense.
• I'd like to go on record as saying that cell phones suck when you live in a wooded neighborhood and in a house that has lead paint. I've had to sign up for landline service so I don't drop a ton of calls as I'm talking to churches. It was either that, or conduct all of my business in my car. Lame.
• The fall semester has begun here at Columbia Theological Seminary. My first class was Pastoral Care and Theological Anthropology. Quite a mouthful. It looks to be a good class. It's a fun/jovial group at least. We watched Wit today. This is the third time I've seen it for a seminary class. It raises great issues about death, dying, and how we live our lives before we face death. This time I was particularly struck with the huge difference between studying/thinking about something abstractly, and actually encountering/experiencing the reality. I'm not sure yet how to make sense of that...it seems like a balance needs to be struck between the two. I should hope that I can still be an effective pastor, and provide good pastoral guidance to people, even if I haven't experienced exactly what they are experiencing at any given time. I hope so.
  

There and back again

• No, I haven't been to the top of a mountain with a dozen dwarves to fight a dragon named Smog for a whole lot of booty, but I have been out west to California to see my dear friend Kate. Last Friday I flew out to San Francisco, CA and then took the train to Berkeley, CA. It was a great 4-5 days of putzing around in the bluest state of them all (blue as in political, not blue as in sad). While I was there I got to eat some great food, see some fun sights, catch up with high school friends, and hear some great speakers...more on the speakers below. I have now returned to Decatur, GA and am about to begin a new semester while also beginning the call process. Exciting times.
• So, the speakers...The first person I heard speak was Sister Helen Prejean, of Dead Man Walking fame. She is a scrappy, spunky lady. She told stories of men who have been put to death who were clearly innocent. She continues to fight to abolish the death penalty in all its forms in our country. I loved her point that right now, society as a whole is very comfortable with placing judgments on human life, as in deciding who has worth, who is worthless, who is good, who is evil, and by making those judgments, somehow, we can also decide who should live and who should die. It accounts for this debacle in Iraq, it accounts for the death penalty, and it accounts for our willingness to allow atrocities to continue in Africa. After reading her book and seeing the movie, it was great to see Sister Helen in person.
• I also heard Bishop Eugene Robinson speak. His lecture was fantastic. He attacked the resurgence of a belief in mind/body dualism, and reminded us that this is a Greek notion, and not a scriptural one. You know, he's right. That view is so pervasive. It's like, "If I just believe enough, or pray enough, or if I'm spiritual enough, I'll over come these desires of the flesh and be right in God's eyes." People can say they aren't trying to earn their salvation, but I'm not so convinced. He made a variety of wonderful points, but in the interest of keeping this brief, I'll move on. You might be able to check out his words at the Pacific School of Religion's website sometime soon. www.psr.edu.
• Well, it's getting late, and I'm pretty tired. I think I'll put out one more plea for people to help me out with the free ipod thing. If you have an e-mail account for junk stuff, or a good filter, you can help me by fulfilling an on-line offer and then cancel it as soon as possible. Just click on this link and follow the directions. Hey, even if you already have an ipod, maybe you could make a $6 donation toward mine. :) Here's the link: http://www.freeiPods.com/?r=8529631.
• Happy February to everyone. Peace out!

Rites of Passage

Today, I met with my CPM (Committee on Preparation for Ministry) for final assessment. this was the committee's opportunity to ask me questions that I can expect when I'm examined for ordination. It was a helpful experience. I got to talk about the reformed tradition, sacraments, the church, missio dei, God as father/mother, and various other theological topics. The only time I was kind of surprised was when a committee member took offense to the word, "mystical." it seems sad that people no longer think of the gospel as mystical, or at least, don't think we have room for mystics in the Christian tradition. I was thankful for a spunky older woman on the committee for saying that we've abandoned the word mystical and saying she wished we would reclaim it. I do think there's something mysterious about the gospel we preach. I mean, just how do humanity and divinity reside in the person of Jesus Christ? Three in one? Huh? I wonder if we've become so comfortable with the gospel that it no longer carries a sense of awe and amazement. I mean, do we have it so figured out that there's no more mystery? I hope not. Anyway, others backed me up that mystical is an OK word to use.
So, the next step is to enter my PIF online and get started looking for a call. I have to admit that my stomach gets kind grumbly when I think about the realities of that. I'm totally excited about finding out where God is preparing for me to go, but it's kind of scary too. I've trusted God to bring me this far, so I suppose I should keep that up and trust God to take me to the next place.
I'm headed back to Hotlanta on Monday, and thank goodness, because it is freakin' cold here. I mean, it hasn't been above freezing for two days. I know, I know, I've been spoiled in the south, but geez. I suppose I should really think about this as I consider the possibility of living and working in Chicago. Anyway, I'm headed back on Monday and then I'm flying to California on Friday. I'll be hanging with my good friend Kate Holbrook. I'm looking forward to fun adventures.
I'm listening to Norah Jones's new CD right now. It's great. Her voice is so soothing. I'd love to meet a girl who can sing like Norah Jones, and maybe even write music like her. She could serenade me at the end of the day.
Well, all three of you who read this, I hope all is well in your worlds. I look forward to seeing all of you Atlanta peeps soon.

Peace and Love and Grace--Alan

Car shopping

Today I spent some time shopping for cars with my Dad. I'm thankful I'm not a car salesman. I don't think I'd be very good at it. Anyway, I'm comparing various mock-SUVs as I like to call them...stuff like the Subaru Outback, Saturn Vue, and Ford Freestyle. I think I have this delusion of grandeur that I'm a total outdoorsman who needs a bunch of cargo room, you know, for hauling my tent and stuff like that. I don't even own a tent, although I kind of wish I did. I do love the camping...why is it that the meaning of something changes when you put a "the" in front of it. I think I picked that one up from Laurie Taylor and Lindsey Wade.
Anyways, back to the car shopping. I had to give my name and address to everybody before we could even talk about prices and sit in the vehicle. I mean, chances are I won't even buy the darned thing here. For what it's worth, I enjoyed the Saturn Vue a good bit.
Yesterday I babysat for some kids named Sam and Sophie. They are really fun kids...so full of energy. We sat down to "watch" Return of the Jedi, but one or the other of them was talking through the whole thing. Yes, that's right, I allowed someone to talk while I was watching a Star Wars movie. It's amazing how much kids will trust an adult. I mean, these kids just met me but they're telling me all kinds of stuff. When do we lose that?
I think I'm gonna head to Kansas City to hang out with Anna (my sister) tomorrow. I'm interested in going to church with her on Sunday. It sounds like a cool place to worship. I'm still pretty frustrated that the minister made her get re-baptized in order to become a member...actually, frustrated is a mild term...it outright pisses me off. He gave some explanation of authority or some other evangelical nonsense. Anyway, I'm eager to check it out. I'm sure we'll spend some time with Jimmy while I'm there. If Anna's up for it, I might call my friend Emily as well.
I'm getting a little antsy about the call process. I'm so eager to jump into the mix and see what God has in store for me. I want to get out there and find a church to serve. I love school, but it's so great to be a part of the regular life of a church. I'm finding that I miss the Shandon folk more than I had anticipated.

Nice Swipe

What a funny world we live in. I made a purchase at a department store today, and after I swiped my credit card, I received a flashing message that read, "NICE SWIPE." I thought, "Wow, what a nice, affirming machine." It's good to know that I'm a good credit card swiper. I'd like to know why more stores don't have affirming machines. When I'm done pumping gas, instead of merely asking me if I'd like a receipt, I'd like the pump to say, "You're great at pumping gas." After depositing money at the bank ATM, maybe it could say, "Good job sealing the envelope buddy." OK, so maybe it would get ridiculous after awhile, but I've enjoyed thinking of all the possibilities. I hope everyone is having a good week in between Christmas and New Years.

Merry Christmas to all

Ah, Christmas. It really is a wonderful time. It was great to be at First Presbyterian Church, Columbia, MO for Christmas Eve. I helped out with the 5:30 family service and then just went and enjoyed the 8:00 traditional service. I found myself feeling kind of emotional while singing some of the hymns...memories of Grandpa...hearing the lyrics in new ways...feeling overwhelmed by the thought of God's grace and love manifested in Christ. That third verse of Silent Night was especially powerful for me this year. Love's pure light and all. There may have been some inner realization that this may be the last time for a few years that I'm actually able to worship in my home congregation on Christmas Eve. While I know that the church I'm called to serve will become my new home, there's something special about the place where I spent so many years discovering God and figuring out how to relate to the stories of Scripture. I'm so thankful for having a church home that feels so safe and warm.
Christmas day was good. The Bancroft family opened presents, ate, and relaxed. In the afternoon, we went to visit Grandma. She seemed happy to have the company. I hate it that we're unable to have her over to the house. I'm hoping that we'll be able to work something out so she can attend my ordination. I think she would like that. I think Grandpa would have liked it too. He was such a man of strong faith.
The next couple of weeks I'll be hangin' around Columbia. Flying here was great, but having no car may become more of a headache than I'd thought. I'm so used to coming and going as I please. More than ever, I'm thinking that I should give up driving places alone for Lent. I think that will lend itself to much reflection, especially when I'm walking or riding my bike everywhere. :)

Back in the home state

Here I sit in the wonderful Show-me state, awaiting the onslaught of snow and coldness that looks to provide a wonderful white Christmas. Say what you will about the crazy seasons of the midwest, it's pretty great waking up to a land blanketed with snow on Christmas morning.
Last weekend I was in Columbia, SC to hang out with friends. Thanks to Tom and Nicole for letting me stay with them. The casa de Katona really is a great place. It was fun seeing Jennifer, Leigh, Michael, Andrew, Becca, Ellen, Jay, Allison, Tom, Nicole, and all of the Shandon folk. While I love my seminary friends, I really miss spending time with my Cola peeps. I'm definitely gonna be sad if I end far away from them.
On a related note, girls really can be fickle sometimes. I think I'm going to officially quit trying to understand them and just, "live in the tension."
On a totally unrelated note, Napoleon Dynamite came out on DVD today. I bought it, watched it, and fell in love with it all over again. If you haven't seen it, see it...GOSH!!!
I've been listening to a great sermon by John Lynch lately. John Lynch has a website, and I'll add it into this post at some point. Anyway, he talks about the fact that we can't really handle the amazing grace of God, so we invented Santa Claus. That's right...Santa Claus is comin' to town (kind of like a gangster or something). He's keepin' a list of naughty and nice and he's comin' to town. I hope that anybody who might read this will stop to think about that in relation to God. Our's is not a Santa Claus-type God. YHWH isn't comin' to town to remind us of our naughtiness or niceness. Elohim is comin' to earth in the form of a precious little child...a child who will grow in wisdom and stature...a child who shows us what it means to trust God and to be fully human...a child who will grow up and eventually take the weight of the world on his shoulders. In this Advent season, let's dare to believe in a God who is comin' to earth to save us and show us love. Let's dare to believe that God pursues us, even to the ends of our sin, in order to redeem us. Let's dare to trust God and to let God love us unconditionally.
Well, folks, that's enough preaching for now. I've just really enjoyed that sermon and thought I'd share some thoughts. I pray that everyone has a very merry Christmas and a blessed beginning to the new year.